So often, people who want to succeed, don’t even realize why they sabotage their success… It could be for a variety of different reasons, and in this post, I’m going to share with you exactly what they are, and break each one down into it’s smallest parts.
First, there is fear of success.
Then, there is fear of failure.
And, that’s pretty much it.
Let me explain.
FEAR OF SUCCESS
This fear, stems from what I really call, “Perceived Responsibility”…. This is where people envision themselves being successful, but pull back because they think they aren’t good enough, smart enough, connected enough, sharp enough, savvy enough, or a big enough leader, to be successful.
A lot of time this comes with an underdeveloped self image or low self esteem, typically created by self perception, due to trauma, abuse, or accepting others opinions.
People will sabotage their success by buying their own excuses, and then either canceling their purchase order, buying but not starting, pulling away from their sponsor, leader, or mentor, disengaging from their team, and isolating themselves from the company, the community, the team – sometimes even a success coach.
I see this often, where someone will entertain joining a successful leader in his or her business, but feel that they will never live up to that leader’s expectations when it comes to work ethic, ability to produce, or even show up consistently being their best self, so they abandon ship, pull away, and never even tell that leader why they decided not to get started. Many times, these people will even join someone else, who is not anywhere near as successful, or capable of even mentoring them, so that they don’t have to perform their own best.
Again, something that people who are truly ready for breakthrough success, do not do.
One of the BIGGEST reasons people have Fear of Success, is that they are worried that they will be different than others who are not as successful, or not successful at all. Fear of rocking the boat, stirring up the pot, disrupting the status quo.
People like this are at the mercy of their families, their friends, their co-workers, their neighbors, even their peers, at church, temple, the boys or girls club, the PTA, you name it.
They are afraid of not fitting in and can’t handle what others are going to think of them when they announce that they have set out to make a difference in their own lives as well as the lives of others.
These people had every intention at one time of becoming successful with the very vehicle that they chose, but in fear of living up to what others, even themselves want or expect for them, they back out…. Sad story there.
And the truth is, only that person can make a change in how they see themselves or their opportunities, to make a difference.
That’s what Fear of Success is all about.
FEAR OF FAILURE
Many of the same reasons that encompass Fear of Success, can also be attributed to Fear of Failure. I would have to say that the BIGGEST cause of Fear of Failure though, is “Other people’s opinions”. Being ridiculed for wanting to be different, stepping outside of the box, thinking & acting differently than others projected opinions of who someone should be, what they should do, and what they should have.
Fear of failure is more closely related to low self esteem, poor self image, and confidence. The same can be said about Fear of Success though, however, I see that most with Fear of Failure also have HUGE approval issues.
Mommy approval; Daddy approval; sibling approval. It all stems back to childhood in a LOT of cases.
And, one other thing I see with Fear of Success & Fear of Failure, is when someone has an opportunity to work with someone very successful, but they don’t…. Take a look around… I see this every day.
People approach someone about a business opportunity; a chance to be personally mentored by a 6 or 7-figure earner, but when the time comes to step up and step into the role of a model student, client, member of that person’s team, they back out.
“Oh, something came up; It’s really just not the right time; My bird just died; I skinned my knee; my car needs a new transmission; etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
This is called “Approach, and Avoid”.
They had a HUGE opportunity, spoke about how much they wanted to change their lives by buying a product, working closely with someone successful, being mentored or coached by someone with a proven track record of success – and yet, their fears of success, failure, sometimes even both, creep in, take over, and cause them to pull out, disappear, and sometimes join a list of people missing in action.
Truth is, ALL excuses are equal – and it only takes ONE…. ONE single excuse can sabotage a HUGE opportunity… Do you know anyone like this? … Has this ever happened to you, where someone told you what they wanted, and were going to do, but then suddenly disappeared? … Have you ever done this to someone else?
If you can relate, here’s how you can change it all:
#1 – You must know what your biggest challenges are. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you have any or all of what I described above, going on for yourself.
Take a step back, ask yourself what’s really stopping you from taking the next step, stretching yourself outside your comfort zone, and getting into what I call, the “unknown”.
This is MOST critical to evaluate where you are right now; where you are starting; and why you are here.
#2 – You must ask yourself who else besides yourself is a part of your decision making process, whether they realize it or not?
Typically this means; Who are you uncomfortable being yourself around? Who do you feel judged by? Who casts unwanted opinions onto you? Who do you feel speaks negatively about you behind your back?
It’s CRITICAL that you learn to let go of the energy that attaches you to that person. Cut the chords, untie the knot, cast the bowlines. You do this by being “Ok” with, and starting to LOVE yourself.
Realize that you ARE worthy. That you deserve to have it all, regardless of what others think, feel, say, do, or project onto you. This is CRITICAL to letting go, and getting good. Again, with yourself.
Once you’ve identified what’s stopping you, and who is stopping you…
YOU WILL BE DANGEROUS.
Because you are waaay more powerful than even you, give yourself credit for. YOU are a sleepy giant, once you tap into your true greatness. YOU are the next BIG Success Story. You can become the next 5, 6, or 7 Figure Earner.
ALL of you, is just WAITING to happen…. Why not YOU? … Why not NOW?